Today 25 years ago Michelle and I got married. 25 years is a long time. USA Today began just before 1983 and Alaska Airlines began in 1983. Ronald Reagan was president, Microsoft's first version of Word was released and MASH had it's last episode.
The funniest thing was we have been married as long as the mobile phone has been in existence (for the public). In 1983, the first mobile phones were released. They were confined to be just car phones. It wasn't until 1986 that you could get a "portable" mobile phone but I read it was the size of a suitcase.
December 26th, 1983. The day Michelle and I got married. I was in active duty military (Air Force) and was in between basic training and technical school. I was scheduled to be stationed in Tacoma at McChord Air Force Base (where we met Duane and Trinette...)
We decided to make that the day, mostly because it was our only option. The whole family was "in", her uncle married us, and we only had two days before I was to leave back to tech school. We got married in First Christian Church, downtown Vancouver. (It is the church Michelle attended as a child).)
On December 26th, 1983 it was terrible weather. Pretty much snow, ice and messy (um...JUST like today. Thank you God..)
We were both a whopping 20 years of age.
We were both pretty strong-willed, and confident and had big dreams (like most 20 year olds).
We were both adventurous (I am the spontaneous one in the family, Michelle is the planner...)
BEST THING: WE WERE BOTH MADLY IN LOVE!!!
We had a short 2 day honeymoon at the beach. We drove her (now our :) ) Datsun 710 down to a nice hotel south of Lincoln City. BIGGEST REGRET of the day....
I FELL ASLEEP WHEN WE GOT THERE. As I slept, Michelle (with candles lit) ate ice cream. I am quite the idiot....
That was the moment that transitioned us from having a wedding to beginning a marriage. Talks ensued the next day...
ALL OF THAT TO SAY TO SAY THIS:
25 YEARS IS A LONG TIME. Amazing years, priceless memories, 3 incredible and beautiful kids, lifetime friends, I am so blessed to be part of her family. We have walked through alot together. Lots of cool times, and some very difficult things. During these last 25 years, we have both had malignant melonoma cancer. (She first had it 19 years ago, which was just 5 years into our marriage. She had it a total of 3 different times in those 19 years.) Cancer for me was just 2 1/2 years ago. And both of us today are cancer survivors! We together stood at the bed of all but one of her grandparents when they died. We just said goodbye to my pop together. Together we have had times of financial prosperity, thriving businesses, and times where we were barely able to make ends meet. Together we were baptized (she was pregnant) at Klineline. Together we have been youth pastors and together we (with other families) began Living Hope. Together we have laughed (she has laughed at me mostly), and also together we have cried. We have prayed for each other and with each other thousands of times over the last 20 years (since I became a Christian). Together we have talked through stuff, together we have used words we later regretted. Together we have seen each other at our best and our worst. Grace has been given more times than I can remember. I am a blessed guy. I have always thought I outmarried myself. For real.
Michelle shares me with so many people and really has been the invisible strength in my life.
Together we have alot of memories, alot of history, alot of lessons. (Not too many dance lessons. Chalk that up to my to-do list.)
MOSTLY TOGETHER WE HAVE ALOT OF LOVE. GENUINE, REAL, LIFE-GIVING, ENCOURAGING, LOVE (heck I am so inspired right now I want to do a marriage series).
So yes. I am blessed to be married to someone I love more than any human on this planet (even my kids). I am proud to have beaten the odds. I am excited to lead a legacy for my children and to stay married, but more than stay married, I am committed (we are committed) to staying in love. To guarding our hearts. To being romantic. To giving grace and space. 25 years is a big day. The big Silver Anniversary.
Mark it down. My committment is to do better in the next 25 years!
Live like it is your last day. Love like you are loved by God. Laugh and have fun.
Cheers for 25 years!
John and Michelle
My to do list
Don't fall asleep in moments you shouldn't.
Take dance lessons because it is Michelle's dream.
Merry Christmas. Everything is wrapped up at our house. Michelle is in bed. Cookies are made. Katie made fudge. We get a white Christmas (when was the last time...). For most of us, we are with our families enjoying good food (um...too much I might add) and I wanted to share on this blog on this Christmas simply verses we will read on Christmas morning as a family. Different years I have read the Bible to our family, before or sometimes after we exchange gifts. Here are a few verses from the Gospels of both Luke and Matthew. Maybe you want to read and pause to thank God for the wonder of Christmas.
The Birth of Jesus Foretold from the Gospel of Luke
Luke 1:26-38
26 In the sixth month, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, 27to a virgin pledged to be married to a man named Joseph, a descendant of David. The virgin's name was Mary. 28The angel went to her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored! The Lord is with you."
29 Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be. 30But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. 31You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. 32He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, 33and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end."
34 "How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?"
35 The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called[a] the Son of God. 36 Even Elizabeth your relative is going to have a child in her old age, and she who was said to be barren is in her sixth month.
37 For nothing is impossible with God."
38 "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said." Then the angel left her.
The Birth of Jesus Christ from the Gospel of Matthew
Matthew 1:18-24
18 This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. 19 Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.
20 But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. 21 She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus,[a] because he will save his people from their sins."
22 All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: 23 "The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel"[b]—which means, "God with us."
24When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife.
The Birth of Jesus from the Gospel of Luke
Luke 2:1-20
1 In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2( This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to his own town to register.
4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
The Shepherds and the Angels
8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
13 Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 14 "Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
15 When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
16 So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. 17 When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
Read it again. Pause. Think about the different parts of the story. God's favor, God being born in a manger. Mary and Joseph trusting, believing and experiencing God's blessings. Shepherds who were outcasts who came to "see" and then went to "tell". God becoming vulnerable and completely dependent on a person He created. It is such a precious day in history. Moments that have allowed millions of people to become reconciled to God. Jesus came to save us from our sins. He came to be light. He came to bring a different way to live. He came FOR YOU. Talk about it. Pray about it. Think about it. Be consumed with it. We need to be about reconciling. It is the gift you will hopefully give to your family and relatives.
For many of you (as me) this will be a very different Christmas. A season in some ways of loss. For me, I miss my grandpa, but am really doing better than I thought. I believe it is the power of prayer and the promise of Heaven. He is in a better place. Could not have said that a few weeks ago (and didn't if you remember...) I just think when we cry out to God and are authentic with those around us, God does big things in the small things. I am praying for so many who are still grieving loss.
This Christmas look around. See your family. Seize moments and say words that you want to say but haven't.
Looking forward to this weekend. ALL WRAPPED UP, all services, all for ONLY GOD.
As I write this blog I am sitting with my family watching Christmas movies, watching the snow and thanking God.
UPDATES.
Today the executive team of LH met and decided (among other things) to cancel Christmas Eve services this year. This is the first time in 12 years that we have not met for Christmas Eve services. Although the weather isn't certain, we believe it is best for safety reasons. Today we had the parking lot plowed and underneath the snow was a sheet of ice. In addition, the weather tells us we will be experiencing more snow and maybe freezing rain.
Seems like bad news, but let's choose to listen to Good News.
The good news is that we will still do the (original) Christmas production ALL WRAPPED UP this weekend (December 27th and 28th, all normal service times).
The good news is that we can spend time with our families. Watch Christmas movies, exchange gifts and eat and be together.
The good news is that God is in control. Totally and always.
Trusting ONLY GOD always results in blessings.
In the wake of what could have been a disaster, I want to tell you on behalf of the leaders and staff of Living Hope, THANK YOU. We were able to make payroll for most of the staff and I am simply and profoundly amazed.
God always shows up and especially does when we wait on Him, and even though He is an 11th hour God, it is in the waiting that we experience the worshipping.
There were online gifts in every amount (one was for $1.11). To date close to 175 gifts. You are the best church!
One of the best Christmas blessings for me personally was an unexpected gift from Seacoast Church today. Seacoast is one of the churches that is changing America today. One of the biggest and fastest growing churches in the country. They are pioneers in the multi-site movement. I talked to Greg Surratt (Senior Pastor and friend) today. Talk about a humble guy. He is a thoughtful and wise pastor and leader. He has a heart for the local church.
Seacoast is a church you would go to if you lived in South Carolina. They get it at so many levels. They are changing and influencing the world for the Kingdom of God.
I have said and believe, when one church hurts we all hurt. When a church rejoices, we ought to rejoice together.
In the New Testament, the church was "the Church". They collected offerings for each other, they prayed together and my guess is they met together. It was less about a church and way more about THE church.
SO, today I get a call from Missy Hannon, who got a call from Seacoast that said they were sending us a check today for $10,000.
Check it out. A church in South Carolina, who hears about a church across the country who is having difficulty making payroll for obvious weather-related issues calls and sends us a check for $10,000. That simply blows me away.
It blows me away because that is the way God designed church to work.
If you can, call them, email Greg, tell people. Pray for Seacoast and thank God. Ask God to do something in our lives that will outlive all of us. Think about it. They did something that has blessed all of us. Why? Because the local church really is the Hope of the world. The gospel is GOOD NEWS and does change lives.
Thank you Seacoast. Thank you Greg Surratt. Thank you Jesus.
Thank you to everyone who has stepped up, in spite of a bad economy and in spite of not having services. Thank you and God bless you.
We are trusting God for an abundant weekend this coming weekend. Bring your friends, bring yourself, you will love the performance and we will be together "finally" after what officially will be the longest time we have not met in 12 years.
If you haven't and want to, giving online will still bless God and others.
I am told that gifts range from $5 to over $1300. Remember, it is together we will do it. We are still a ways from meeting payroll and budget, so thank you in advance for doing what you can do and for the comments on my last blog.
I got one comment that made me think about our giving. Some people have mixed emotions about churches talking about it. I would say we just haven't done the best job explaining what the Bible says. Christmas is a story about giving!
Let's talk today about giving!
God so loved the world He gave. The most quoted verse in the Bible. Perhaps the most misunderstood as well.
Love and giving are intrinsically tied together. In fact I would say real love expresses itself in real giving. Not just resources, but our time and our energy and our emotions as well.
Giving is so completely tied to our love.
I was thinking how much we give to those whom we love, and also how much we love those who we give to. Giving thoughtfully selected gifts, which are then carefully wrapped anticipating the day they are opened. Giving gifts is one of the best parts of Christmas.
It was for God too. He thought of you and carefully wrapped his son for the world. The day that gift is opened, imagine the expression on God's face. Imagine the angels who rejoice. Imagine the day you received the gift of eternal life from a God that gave His best to you.
"...Don't be afraid, I bring you Good news of great joy for everyone..." Luke 2:10 I love that. Good news for everyone! Everyone has a chance to receive the gift, and everyone gets in the same way, and it is a message of "great joy".
It is the gospel that changes the hearts of people. It is the gospel that helps people to find their way home to God's arms. It is the gospel that is good news, and I would add the best news. It is the gospel that we are proclaiming. More through what we do than what we say.
I love Acts chapter 11, you see as the church explodes in growth, the people first called the Christians "Christians". They didn't call themselves that, it was how they lived that changed everything. They gave their lives to seeing the Gospel touch the lives of everyone. Their lives were telling the story of God.
As we prepare for Christmas, I want to say again THANKS to those of you who gave because of love. Your giving is telling the story of God.
As a church, we rely on the faithful giving of people who are part of Living Hope. This will go down as one of the biggest snow storms in alot of years. One that has shut down most churches around the area. Difficult in many ways. Services cancelled. Cars stuck. Airlines cancelling flights. Thousands of people without electricity. Our weather experts call this storm an artic blast, or deep freeze. Or perfect storm. All the conditions just perfect to cause huge problems for everyone affected.
PERFECT STORMS happen! They always have and always will. It is in the moments of a perfect storm you find God's perfect plan. Also, in a perfect storm you see God's hand. I think during storms we also can receive God's peace. During storms, you see God move in a way you could not have predicted and it causes you to see and say ONLY GOD can do this.
After the disciples saw Jesus calm the storm they worshipped him. We are worshipping God as we see how He has used your giving this year to help what is seemingly becoming a perfect storm.
Again, let me reiterate. We are not there yet. We will continue to do everything we can as leaders and then we will pray and wait. We are trusting ONLY GOD and watching people step up to give during one of the most difficult economic times of our lifetime.
Perfect storms always create perfect opportunities to wait on God alone!
Well here we are in the midst of a bunch of snowflakes.
I have been on the phone with pastors and leaders and are having to make the first ever decision to cancel ALL WEEKEND SERVICES. Yes, all weekend services. THIS BLOG WAS ORIGINALLY JUST SATURDAY AND NOW IS ALL WEEKEND (as of 3:00 PM Saturday).
Please help us by telling everyone you can. Be safe and stay home with your families. Unexpected times create sometimes the best opportunities....
OK. HERE IS THE NEW PLAN:
1. I saw the "All Wrapped Up" Christmas production and it is amazing! Really really good. BECAUSE we don't want the church to miss it (having done only 2 services on Friday), we are going to do the performance on the weekend following Christmas (December 27th & 28th).
2. Christmas Eve services are planned as scheduled. Five candle lighting services. 5:00 PM, 6:30 PM, 8:00 PM, 9:30 PM, 11:00 PM. They will be one hour services and are always a highlight for our church family.
3. I need to ask if you can give online. Here is the deal. With weather issues last weekend which caused a drop in attendance by over 1500, and with services being cancelled this weekend, and with payroll for our staff this next Tuesday, it will greatly help the budget if you can give online, or drop off offerings Monday & Tuesday to the church office (weather permitting of course).
So often people say to me, if only we knew, we would help. Oftentimes we don't share details. So I am both sharing and asking.
It would be a weird Christmas to not be able to pay the staff. With thousands of people who get this email and who read this blog, we can step up and support this ministry together, and to see ONLY GOD results.... together!!! We, as with many Christian ministries, count on December to be the highest giving month of the year. With the economy and weather, that is proving to not be the case. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR FAITHFUL PARTNERSHIP!!
You may not know, but just this year there have been 1006 people baptized at Living Hope (including Kona and New Zealand campuses). When I think of giving and of Christmas and how it is all about really giving, I realized it would not be cool to not tell you. It is a ministry that has been entrusted to all of us. If you read this blog and watch messages from other parts of the world, you too my friends are part of this ministry. Let's give to God above and beyond. Let's be a church that will be about trusting. Let's together end the year strong financially.
Maybe for many of you who are not part of Living Hope, you would consider a one time end of the year gift.
At least you know now. I trust God will lead you as you decide what to do.
Snowflakes can be snow faith. Corny but true. Circumstances can and will change. Jobs will come and....go. Life will do what it does and all you can do is choose to do what is right, choose to pray, and believe God for a miracle.
I am watching my kids run in the snow barefoot. They are all weird. They are having fun and I am writing this with a knot in my stomach about the finances at Living Hope. Then it came to me. God could have waited until Monday, and we could have done the play and lives would have been saved and offerings would have came in and staff would have been paid. I guess humanly you would say that is a good "plan".
God has one plan. It is faith. He is the God who has named the stars, who also has created each snowflake unique and who can hold all of the snow in the palm of His hand. He is the God who knows us best and loves us most.
He is the same today, yesterday and forever.
He is the God who wants to turn our snowflake days into total faith moments.
He blesses faith. He really does. It pleases him. Faith moves God into action.
Check out this verse.
After a Roman officer came to Jesus and believed He (Jesus) could heal a young servant that was wracked with pain and paralyzed. Check out verse 10, how Jesus responds to this guy.
"When Jesus heard this, he was amazed. Turning to the crowd, he said, "I tell you the truth, I haven't seen faith like this in all of the land of Israel..." Matthew 8:10
This word "amazed" is the only time you see the word in all of the New Testament. Better translated it would be ASTONISHED.
Jesus was astonished because the guy believed Jesus was who he said he was and could heal as ONLY GOD could.
Do we believe like that?
Better question, are you willing to live in a way that your faith AMAZES ONLY GOD? It doesn't have to make sense, and so often faith doesn't. Here is what is real: Faith is the only thing that pleases God. Hebrews 11:6 says, "So, you see it is impossible to please God without faith..."
Read the Christmas story with your family and notice that God blesses Mary because she believed!
Rest my friends. I hope to see you on Christmas Eve or at the end of the month.
Opportunity. One of the definitions is "A favorable or advantageous circumstance or combination of circumstances."
I can't think of a better time for God to show up in a powerful and ONLY GOD way.
After Friday services (2 out of 9 done), I walked away tired, but thankful to God. He has always provided.
We have an opportunity to go above and beyond in giving this year. With the economy and the weather the last two weekends we have a perfect storm brewing. From a human perspective things look difficult, but God gives us this gift of opportunity. To respond in faith and not fear.
IF you are able to give, please do. If you can give extra, it will matter alot. With the year coming to an end, we are doing everything we can to ensure we will make budget.
In 2008 there have been 1006 people baptized. That is all campuses. It is also all God.
I hope you are enjoying the snow as much as me. Being from the southern hemisphere, I am not used to having a white christmas - our style is usually a BBQ on the beach, (yes we do still send cards with snow on them, and yes it is weird) but I have to say I am loving the "winter wonderland" look - more please!
I realise you check in to hear from John, but today I wanted to have some fun and show you this video of our favourite family.
Call it assistants revenge"... call it "christmas cheer"... call it "a sure way to get fired"... ...kidding - (I hope)
We began our new series called ALL WRAPPED UP. Spent some time unpacking different Christmas expectations, looking back to the birth of Jesus, the original people and the stuff they were "wrapped up in".
Attendance was down (due to the snow pretty much all around us, except right over us). Looks like the weather will be an issue all week. Drive safe and pray for others.
At the 11:00 AM service, I felt led to share the gospel (different from the other messages) and there were 52 people who stood indicating they had asked Christ to save them.
Offerings were way way down (again probably due to weather mostly). If you want to (or can) give online this week, please pray about doing that. This is the first time in 12 years where we have had inclement weather that has (and will) affect people's ability to "get to church".
David (my son) willingly helped us with a video. He and our video team spent some time last Friday spreading Christmas cheer in downtown Portland. David is such a naturally funny guy. He reminds me of Jack Black. I am hoping that he will do another video, but even if he doesn't we have good memories........
Seems one of the things about the Christmas season that is central for all of us is wrapping.
Think about it for a minute...
We love to wrap things. We wrap gifts for people we love (well mostly...), we wrap our arms around people it seems even more this time of year. We wrap our homes in lights (in our case a nameless pastor helped to cause a fuse to blow). In the great Northwest, we even wrap our bodies with extra layers of clothing because of the weather. My wife stays wrapped up by the fire in our home.
Did you know that half of the paper consumed each year is used to wrap gifts? And that thirty-eight thousand miles of ribbon is used on those gifts?
Wrapping is what we do. That's why I am excited about our new Christmas series "All Wrapped Up".
Our creative teams have been working on an original Living Hope production (I haven't seen it, but am excited about it). We are doing Christmas Eve services all the way to 11pm.
I am working on a message for post-Christmas called "Putting Jesus Away..."
There is SO much going on. Maybe that is the point of part of what we need to deal with. We really do get all wrapped up. Both in good ways and sometimes in ways that mean we can miss what matters. Every year I feel like I spend time thanking God, reflecting, giving, and at the same time guarding my family not to get all wrapped up in stuff that really doesn't matter.
This weekend, we will begin our Above and Beyond December giving campaign. Each year, part of what it means to keep God first is to keep Him first in our finances. The tendency will be to give God our leftovers. I am so glad God didn't give us the leftovers from Heaven. He gave His best! He sent Jesus to save a world that had missed his entry to earth. Imagine living in that time, when you could see what no other generation has seen. God touching dirt. Being born in a wet cave, with just his parents and a few shepherds who were rejected by society. But people missed Jesus then, the same way we miss Jesus today.
Maybe it would be good to pause and take a minute to thank Him.
I hope we do get wrapped up, in fact allwrapped up in what really matters this year. In an economy that would say hold on and stay safe, we can trust a God who has never changed and who owns everything and who gives to us always what we need. While the economy stays wrapped up in fear, you can choose to wrap yourself in the arms of the One who came to this earth a couple thousand years ago.
Think about it, 2000 years ago God was wrapped up in human skin. Wrapped up at birth and interestingly wrapped up at death. Wrapped up as the greatest gift the world has ever known or needed. Wrapped up FOR YOU. The best you can, pause to get wrapped up in that thought. He loves you more than anyone ever has and more than anyone ever could.
8 That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. 9 Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the radiance of the Lord’s glory surrounded them. They were terrified, 10 but the angel reassured them. “Don’t be afraid!” he said. “I bring you good news that will bring great joy to all people. 11 The Savior—yes, the Messiah, the Lord—has been born today in Bethlehem, the city of David! 12 And you will recognize him by this sign: You will find a baby wrapped snugly in strips of cloth, lying in a manger.” Luke 2:8-12
Being wrapped up is what we do. I guess the difference is in what do we become wrapped up in or about?
Last weekend we finished out our HOPE series by looking at the story of David in the cave. (1 Samuel) 1 Samuel 22:1-2 "So David left Gath and escaped to the cave of Adullam. Soon his brothers and all his other relatives joined him there. Then others began coming—men who were in trouble or in debt or who were just discontented—until David was the captain of about 400 men.
Hurt, betrayed, broken, hiding in a cave, and faced with the opportunity for revenge. David, faced with the humanity of his enemy, as well as his own, chooses the next right thing. Refuses to give up, and allows God to use the darkness of the cave to teach him something. We can learn so much, I think, from David's moment in the cave.
1. Complain to ONLY GOD 1 Samuel 30:6 (KJV) - “but David ENCOURAGED himself in the LORD his God.”
learn to 'Lament' to God. I think many of us are good at complaining - just not good at complaining to God.
2. Trust in ONLY GOD
God is the only and always trustworthy one. Proverbs 3:5,6 is written by David's son. It is good..... Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
Trust in Yahweh. It seems so easy and yet is so difficult. It is the easiest thing we can say and I think the hardest thing to actually "do". When we do, God promises to make our paths straight.
3. Choose for ONLY GOD 1 Samuel 24:6-7 “The Lord knows I shouldn’t have done that to my lord the king,” he said to his men. “The Lord forbid that I should do this to my lord the king and attack the Lord’s anointed one, for the Lord himself has chosen him.” 7 So David restrained his men and did not let them kill Saul.
Choose the next right thing. FOR ME, sometimes it is just to breathe. Choose to listen, choose to respond, choose to live the kingdom way.
I love this verse in Luke 6:28: “Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you.” This verse is so about choosing a path different to what we would naturally do. To bless people who hurt you can be the hardest thing you can ever do, and yet I think can change your life so much.
Take a look at this video of Rachael's story. Someone refusing to give up hope. Someone who is living in, and knows the value of the cave. Pray for her!
HOW IS YOUR WEEK GOING? I hope you are doing well. I appreciate SO MUCH the cards and e-mails.
Paul says to the church at Rome "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." Romans 12:15
What a great reminder. You can't rejoice or mourn when you are in a hurry. You can't microwave emotions. You can pause! (So can, and I have.)
I think we actually rejoice "together" better than we mourn "together".
I have spent alot of time this week processing emotions.
Isn't it true that our emotions can be really contagious.
I am the eternal optimist, so dealing with grieving has been very different for me. GOOD, but way different.
Pausing to "pause" has been so good for me this week. Working on messages, memorial service and other things.
I just got an e-mail from one of our elders and felt it needed to be shared.
December 5, 2008 The Emotion Contagion If you're happy and you know it, you can pass it on by Maria Cheng, Associated Press
When you're smiling, the whole world really does smile with you.
A paper being published today in a British medical journal concludes that happiness is contagious — and that people pass on their good cheer even to total strangers.
American researchers who tracked more than 4,700 people in Framingham, Mass., as part of a 20-year heart study also found the transferred happiness is good for up to a year.
"Happiness is like a stampede," said Nicholas Christakis, a professor in Harvard University's sociology department and co-author of the study. "Whether you're happy depends not just on your own actions and behaviors and thoughts, but on those of people you don't even know."
While the study is another sign of the power of social networks, it ran through 2003, just before the rise of social networking websites such as Friendster, My Space and Facebook. Christakis couldn't say for sure whether the effect works online.
"This type of technology enhances your contact with friends, so it should support the kind of emotional contagion we observed," he said.
Christakis and co-author James Fowler, of the University of California at San Diego, are old hands at studying social networks. They previously found that obesity and smoking habits spread socially as well.
For this study, published in the British journal BMJ, they examined questionnaires that asked people to measure their happiness. They found distinct happy and unhappy clusters significantly bigger than would be expected by chance.
Happy people tended to be at the center of social networks and had many friends who also were happy. Having friends or siblings nearby increased people's chances of being upbeat. Happiness spread outward by three degrees — to the friends of friends of friends.
Happy spouses helped too, but not as much as happy friends of the same gender. Experts think people, particularly women, take emotional cues from people who look like them.
Christakis and Fowler estimate that each happy friend boosts your own chances of being happy by 9 percent. Having grumpy friends decreases it by about 7 percent.
But it also turns out misery doesn't love company: Happiness seemed to spread more consistently than unhappiness. But that doesn't mean you should drop your gloomy friends.
"Every friend increases the probability that you're at the center of a network, which means you are more eligible to get a wave of happiness," Fowler said.
Being happy also brings other benefits, including a protective effect on your immune system so you produce fewer stress hormones, said Andrew Steptoe, a psychology professor at University College London who was not involved with the study.
But you shouldn't assume you can make yourself happy just by making the right friends.
"To say you can manipulate who your friends are to make yourself happier would be going too far," said Stanley Wasserman, an Indiana University statistician who studies social networks.
The study was conducted only in a single community, so it would take more research to confirm its findings. But in a time of economic gloom, it also suggested some heartening news about money and happiness.
According to the research, an extra chunk of money increases your odds of being happy only marginally — notably less than the odds of being happier if you have a happy friend.
"You can save your money," Christakis said. "Being around happy people is better."
Great article. I would only add that the joy of the Lord really is our strength. Happiness is a feeling and feelings are definitely contagious, but can't feelings ebb and flow with circumstances? I am learning that joy is not a condition of our circumstances, or an emotion, but is a really an attitude of our heart. It is learning to be content with ONLY GOD. I am learning, and it is a good thing.
Nehemiah 8:10 says, "...This is a sacred day before our Lord. Don’t be dejected and sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength!”
Joy is our strength. The joy of Yahweh (The LORD) is what makes us be able to make it through circumstances!
Cool.
I hope you are having a good Friday. Loving the weather. Although, for our friends in OZ it is summer. Sorry, you can't experience cold here..... lol
Looking forward to the weekend. We will end the series about HOPE and start a new series next week called "All Wrapped Up" that will include our first ever ORIGINAL Living Hope Christmas production and our Christmas Eve candlelight services.
Good days are ahead of us!
Thanks for your prayers. The service for my grandpa is this SUNDAY. 3:30 PM at the Brush Prairie campus. He was a pretty loved guy and I am honored to have known him my whole life.
Hey there. Wednesday thoughts about grief and grieving.
As I pray, think, and talk to others I am learning that all of us experience grief. It's an absolute inescapable reality of the human experience.
I know in some ways a blog about grief is seemingly not very encouraging, but it's not only where some of us have been, it is where all of us will eventually be.
What Is Grief? One quote says this: "Grief is… the impotent rage of being born into a Universe of change."
--- Charles Garfield
Grief makes you feel week.... YOU ARE. It makes you feel out of control....YOU ARE. It makes you feel vulnerable...YOU ARE.
"Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
We avoid trouble. We avoid suffering. We have a tendency to avoid stuff that makes us feel weak.
Grieving is profoundly yet simply learning to touch the depths of the human experience. It is the contrast between what we wanted and what now is.
The timing is not at our choosing. From the first moment that we don't get exactly what we want from the world, we experience grief. It may come even in early childhood.
The real issue isn't about having or not having grief. The issue is what to do with it when it happens.
At moments of paralyzing loss, our defenses crumble. We no longer have the strength to stuff our feelings down or run or even fight back. Sometimes just seeing another's tears is sufficient to cause our tears to flow like a river. Yesterday I had to be in Portland to meet with the funeral home to arrange for details about Pop. It was crazy how my grief was evident and almost uncomfortable to those around me and yet healing for me.
Grief can make us feel like life is over and we become turned off to and from the world.
In a sentence, grief is an unescapable, unparalleled and yet undeniable season of life. Grief can isolate us and defeat us OR... it can be the thing that tears our hearts open, that allows us to be vulnerable, that takes away our illusion of control, our self-imposed distance from our capacity to love and surrender. With God I "think" grief can be a beautiful experience.
If we can meet our grief with courage and awareness, it can be the key that unlocks our hearts and forces us into a profound new experience of life and love.
Another person says that "grief can be our friend . . . a fierce teacher, but a welcome wake-up call."
Check this out. I have a question. What if grief is God's way of opening us up and waking us up to life, to love and relationships? Could it be that for some of us we sleepwalk through life and somehow we really avoid God-orchestrated change? Please be patient, it is really a question I am asking...
In grief, what gets sucked out of our life sometimes is joy and our subsequent strength. We all know that genuine joy doesn't come from what we own or who we know. Joy comes from a deep sense of God's overwhelming and all-consuming presence in our lives. Ironically for so many people I have talked to this week, authentic joy lies not in avoiding the suffering, the sadness, or disappointments in life, but in learning to go through it, to accept it . . . to grow in understanding, compassion, and love.
Grief is primarily the pain of resisting what is. It is learning to process loss. It is a journey that will change you either way. I guess I can safely say grief and loss don't leave you where they find you.
It is about learning for me. Learning what it means to grow in Christ. Learning what it means to slow down. Learning what it means to treasure each and every day (as if it were the last day). Learning about me, my fears and my weaknesses, learning about God and learning about others. Notice the key word for all of us is "learn". We all have things to learn. Grief may seem like a harsh teacher, ruthless and uncompassionate. A teacher that really helps us be better, but really who would choose it? Probably none of us, really. In the end, we learn, we grow and we are better.
Enough thoughts, here are a couple things that I am learning.
1. ACCEPT WHAT IS REAL.
It's often easier for people who are grieving to have an intellectual understanding of the death (the person is physically gone) than an emotional understanding (the loved one is never coming back). So the first task for the grieving person is accepting that the loved one is really gone. In leadership the first step to change is to define reality. In life it is the same. Once you define what is real, you can begin the process of accepting what is real. WHEN YOU ACCEPT WHAT IS REAL YOU BEGIN TO HEAL.
2. BE OK TO NOT BE OK.
This is one of the things that makes the difference in spiritual growth. We need to "tell someone" but oftentimes we tell the wrong people and fail to tell God. David was so about lamenting or telling God. He learned that and did that. The pain of grieving can be spiritual, emotional, relational and even physical, and unfortunately there's no way to avoid it. Denying or ignoring the pain of grieving can lead to all kinds of issues and yet when we appropriately grieve we learn to journey through it well. I am re-learning what it means to be ok to not be ok.
3. FIND WHAT AND WHO IS SAFE.
IT IS SO IMPORTANT TO FIND PEOPLE AND PLACES WHICH ARE SAFE. Grieving causes instability. Instability can cause us to think things that aren't "stable" or good at times. I am for sure not an expert in grieving, but am learning that I have had moments of regret. Safe people who know me and who knew pop are able to speak truth and life into the situation. Oftentimes, safe people help to re-establish what to do next. This is so important. If you can do one thing in the day that is good and/or right, it was by definition a good day.
Happy Tuesday my friends. This last weekend was pretty sweet. We saw 135 people baptized, mostly all spontaneously (not coming to church planning on being baptized). As we celebrated 12 years, we recalibrated to what matters. Helping people find their way home to God. Really great stories and completely an ONLY GOD weekend.
NEXT WEEKEND I want to end the HOPE series with learning to dream again. I have been thinking about this particular message for over 4 weeks and haven't been able to share it, but am excited for this weekend.
I wanted to say thanks again. Being with you worshipping this weekend was what me and my family's hearts needed. It was sorely needed. Worship was so good for my soul.
Your encouragement has been so life-giving and has made the difference! Thank you so much. Funny how encouragement helps us so much when we are saddened.
Check out this verse:
"...He is the source of every mercy and the God who comforts us. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When others are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
I have felt comforted by YOU. Strengthened by many of YOU. Interesting that God's comfort has purpose. SO THAT we can comfort others.
I got an email from a friend who pastors a great church in upstate New York. He, through a simple e-mail, brought comfort to me.
Here is part of what he said:
John..."If I've learned one thing.... God has a purpose for every season under heaven....a time to laugh...time to grieve.
If I could encourage you to.....Give yourself permission to grieve."
My friend's words could not have been more appropriately timed, for me and I am sure for others.
I guess I am finding myself understanding what it means to grieve. Not that I have never had loss, but somehow this is different.
So, I want to do a series of blogs on grieving. I guess it is part of how I process things, to write. So share your hearts as well and as I prepare for Pop's service this Sunday (3:30 PM at Living Hope), I want to slow down a little to grieve.
Here is a great thought:
"Grief is a journey, often perilous and without clear direction, that must be taken. The experience of grieving cannot be ordered or categorized, hurried or controlled, pushed aside or ignored indefinitely. It is inevitable as breathing, as change, as love. It may be postponed, but it will not be denied."
~ Molly Fumia
..."there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our lives."
December 7th is the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. Pop was a World War 2 veteran. He was my hero. I loved him, as did so many people. The stories that I keep hearing just validate what I know. HE LOVED WELL.
Here is a picture that I found as we are putting together the service.
Now you know where I get my good looks...... (lol)
